My thoughts were all over the place since meeting with Master Stone. Before I met him, I didn’t know it was possible for a body to experience such intense pleasure. I’d had no comprehension of the concept of yearning; the idea that my body could need something as much as my brain. I had longed, almost desperately, to be summoned by Master Stone again, and, as the days and weeks rolled past without such an invitation, I found myself feeling increasing levels of despondency. He barely looked at me. I saw him smiling at other Apprentices and my heart broke. The deepest and most crushing cut of all was being instructed to attend my calling, not by Master Stone, but by Master Snow. I didn’t know much about Master Snow. I’d seen him around, of course. He’s stupidly handsome but he comes across as aloof, business-like, and a little stern. The moment I saw his name, I felt sad. I spent the days before the meeting trying to come to terms with my loss. I had to accept that what had happened with Master Stone was of no significance to him and unlikely to be repeated. Maybe he was ashamed. Maybe he was worried that I’d report him… not that I ever would. So, I walked into Master Snow’s office feeling a little depressed. I found him sitting at his desk, all neatly turned-out in an expensive suit and tie, looking distant and over-formal. The room smelt slightly sweet, like cold ice. He instructed me to sit down before fixing me with his piercing blue eyes, telling me that the ritual we were about to embark upon would advance me in the Brotherhood. His words should have given me a sense of elation. I was about to enter the mystical sect which had fascinated me for years. And yet, all I could think was how much more meaningful it would have been if Master Stone had been saying the words. Snow leaned forward and quietly asked if I still submitted that I was not attracted to men. I instantly felt my face burning up. Plainly I am attracted to men. I have jerked thinking about Master Stone at least twice a day since our encounter, but I didn’t want to be pushed into a place where I had to admit to what had happened (in case it got him into trouble), so I lied and said that I was not attracted to men...