My apprenticeship with the Brotherhood hasn’t always been smooth sailing. I’ve often found myself feeling bewildered, frustrated, lonely or completely out of my depth. On many occasions, I’d considered throwing in the towel. But joining the Brotherhood proved to be something that was really important to me. I’d put so much in now, I couldn’t just leave. Accepting I was attracted to men went against everything that I was raised to accept. Here at the Brotherhood, I’ve been monitored and mentored by very great men. Men I became desperate to please and, latterly, men I became desperate to be with. Through the long months, they’ve taught me to accept who I am and embrace my position in the order of things, understanding my potential while accepting my limitations. I’ve been loved, punished, neglected, and revered. No part of my body has been ignored. I’ve been the focus of mystical rituals and have experienced such carnal pleasure that my body has shaken uncontrollably for days afterwards…